This is Mary

Mary gave birth to me and she wanted me to go with her to Universal Studios on Christmas and it rained.

I got her a poncho.

Merry Christmas Mom!

Weeee!

I'm in disneyland next to a giant boat!. I am walking on foam water! Everyones Jesus here!

My theory on comedy.

Comedy is a strange game. People hate you and want to be in your shoes at the sa.e time. And everyone wants to have sex with your ex.

Help I,m in Monyreal

I am ata aparty in montreal and the bathroom sign says something about what to do with the toilet paper but my french is not so good.

Alien Imression

Where's Ripley!

Airport Again

I am traveling to LA mostly for fun today. I am traveling with MYKA FOX who is basically a five year old in an adult body.

Mo Pitkin's -- downstairs

MSL here introducing our waitress, Lauren Brown. She has just graduated from NYU and knows there is no credibility for actors who have not waited tables:

Tonight I had swordfish. I don't want to scare anybody but it makes me gart a nasty smell.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

This is Allison

She needs to update her own blog.

Cab

I know how to take a cab like nobodys business.

NICE!

I love it when the urinal is filled with ice.

Chinese Food Thief

Usually when I am walkinf from the subway atop and I am hungre I will order over my cell phone from the Chinese food place near my house.

 

Yesterday, I ordered and when I got to th place they told me tht someone had  just picked up my order.  Yup, some jack-o-lope stole my food because it was ready and they thought; why not say that they were the person who ordered it. 

 

I had to wait for my food to be prepared and they felt so bad that they gave me a free calendar.

 

Lost my food... gained a calendar.

 

 

This is Big Mike

I have two of his books and they are both disturbing.

These are the Fools

They lay great music.

BARFIGHT!

YOu know how I am writing in weird places all over the city? Well the way I am working is that I write a few pages and then I go somewhere, like a movie or a bar and then I go write some more after that... Okay so last night I went to Mars Bar, this skanky punk bar in the east village, and all hell breaks loose at one point.

I was at the bar with a freind of mine, J and my ex girlfriend M. There was this huge french guy, who wa also very drunk trying to hit on M. Now, I may not be seeing M anymore, but I am very protective of anyone I have ever dated and all of my friends for that matter, M insisted that I stay out of it as this guy was trying to paw at her. I did... sorta.

At one point the tiny bartender cuts off the huge French guy from any further drinking. Of course the french guy gets nuts immediately and takes a swing at the tiny bartender. The tiny bsrtender backs away because, as I just said, the French guy is huge. What neithr I or the French guy knew was that the bartender's, NYU professor, wife was there. She was a mild mannered woman who jumps up on a bar stool and clocks the French guy. The French guy backhands her, yes he backhanded her, and send her sailing backwars down the line of barstools past me.

I am against people hitting women unless they are being a real threat to your life. This was a tiny woman trying to protect her tinier husband and the huge French guy batted her away like it was nothing.

I jump in and hit him in the face and grab his head, while the tiny bartender comes around the bar and jumps on the back of Mr. Frenchie. Adam, a drunk guy who is a regular at the bar who had puked earlier and then decided to keep drinking also grabs the Frnch guy. Remember, this Fren guy is pretty fucking big and of the three of us, the extremely drunk Adam,was the biggest.

The French guy raisies the bartender up in the air with one arm. What? Then the French guy elbows Adam who is too drunk to defend himself and he falls out through the door to the bar and land on his back hitting his head. JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!

At this point, I decide that pulling punches would be stupid so I punch the French guy in the gut a couple of time and takt the air out of him. Once he was doubled over I kick his legs out from under him and he falls forward out the door of the bar. Once he is down I put my knee on his neck and tell him not to move.

"I geev up." He says. and then he starts mumbling.

I explain to him that he can't go back in the bar and that if he starts anymore trouble that he will get really hurt. He mumbles something that is hard to hear with my knee on his throat. i let it off.

"Whar eez dee underground bar?"

I actually laughed out loud.

The topper. I comeoutside later to make a phone call and the guy is still there staggering around the sidewalk. He doesn't remember who I am at all.

- So I take a picture with him.

Bob Powers is a genius

http://girlsarepretty.com

 

Trust me on this.

A Knitting Circle

I am writing in a coffee shop and then a knitting circle came and sat down right next to me!

Oh how I long to toss away my laptop and pick up a pair of knitting needles!

My Brainis on Fire

For the past few days straight I have been doing nothing but witing from when I wake p until I go to sleep.  I have some iimportnt work due at the end of the week and I have buried myself in work until that time.  I have to get things just right if i have any say in it at all.

 

I haveonly come up for air once or twice in the past week and I think what that means is this.  After I am done with this stage of work, I will go out and party like there is no tomorrow for a while.  I will run around ith a torch and only wearing underwear while I scare the natives.

 

If I get a chance, i will dive off of a tall building with only a parachute and see if I can make it to the other side of the island on one jump.

 

Someone please stop by and slap my face.

 

Victor

This is Jay.

About three and a half years ago Jay and I started First Sundays comesdy film festival. Www.firstsundays.com

I went off to LA but yesterday marked my very silly return to the show as a producer and a co host.

Jay and I erformed a sketch together. We were funny.

I am an artist.

I call this WHAT IF I ACCIDENTALLY ATE A POISON APLE.

...you just don't get genius.

Deadline

I am working toward a deadline to deliver a rough draft of the movie I am writing with stan lee. I don't see the light of day right now. I pop on my headphones and just sit in front of a computer screen for about six hours out of the day.

Tonight I will be performing in a showcase for Jimmy Kimmel Live and I will finally see some of my friends faces.

I am also hungry right now. What should I eat?

Party

I am going to a halloween party hosted by richard gere tonight.

Am I scary?

This is James

I don't know much about him but I do know he was on the DawsonLs creek soundtrack.

Do you know who he is?

ART (I am covered in ketchup!)

I went to a reading tonight because a friend of mine was involved. At first I was ready to roll out of that joint as fast as my legs would carry me. 

 

The first reader was a woman who read about the plight of female bodybuilders.  Apparently there is some controversy about the fact that they are also judged on their femininity.  I guess that sucks, but then again man-bodied women suck a little bit too.

 

Luckily, the next performer was a kick ass writer named Lisa Crystal Carver.  She had people act out scenes from her book rather than just relying on a reading.  She told the tale of living and growing up in a punk rock band and amidst the lifestyle therein.

 

At one point a girl covered in ketchup that she was using as blood jumped off the stage and started making out with me.  She slapped me and was surprised when I slapped her back.  (Look, with the talk about the way I feel about body building women and slapping this woman, I am beginning to sound like a real jerk  Please forgive me)  Anyway, the show ended with a woman getting on a table and peeing on a pizza.

 

Peeing on a pizza.

 

Art.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

Dear Planet Earth

I am the best dancer in the universe.

If aliens came down to take over the world and the only way we could defend ourselves was serving up those suckers on the dance floor, the world leaders would have to come find me.

Nuff said.

What am I doing in New York?

I have to go back to LA soon to finish the worked that was halted in its path by idiocy.

 

I think that if I had the unique ability of blowing people up with my mind I would be wading through the knee deep blood and entrails of dumbasses.

 

Is that harsh?
________________
www.bestalbino.com

Bored at the airport.

Going back and forth from new york to la and back can sure wear on you after a while.

sitting at an airport alone and tired is.... Well its blech.

It is a quandry

When you are doing something cool, like writiing a new movie with Stan Lee, then you feel bead when you get angry bout setbacks.

 

I mean on one hand, yu ARE writing movies, but on the other hand, everyone could use a little primer on getting their shit together sometimes. 

 

Not Stan Lee, he rocks.

This is Carrie

I really don't know Carrie, but she is a good friend of a friend that I sort of know.

She does market research so let's do some of our own. What do you think she's like?

This is Carter

Carter is an excellent bartender that makes drinks that makes your head spin.

Howd you do that Carter? I am happy and beligerrent all at once.

I believe in God

But what I don't believe in is people who sing about God and try to fit in some weird comedy act in it as well.

Thank you Chris Deluca.

Watch this until at least the middle.

CLICK ME

________________
www.bestalbino.com

This is Ann and Sydney

Together they are a band called the Hazards. They used to be the Ukes of Hazard but they were afraid of the man.

I had an informal contest and ann won. She has the biggest whitest teeth.

This is Claudia

Claudia is getting over a cold but that has nothing to do with why her nose is so big.

Ha ha ha.

Justt kidding. She's pretty.

This is Brian

Brian is one of the nicest guys I know and I guarantee that he has the oldest soul on the block.

I know it seems like saying that someone has an old soul is not a compliment, but it is.

This is Jovanna

Jovanna works at the production company that I write movies for. She has no idea that I am sending this to my website.

I will tell her to check my site after this is posted. I think she will be angry.

This is roger

Roger and I write comedy for the video game together. Does he look funny? He seems pensive to me.

Maybe that is funny.

My Bank Card

I lost my bank card and I still have a few more days before I get my new one.

It really is a different world inside the bank. It seems like time has stood still since they used that one bank as part of the set of ,ots a wonderful life., The people are antiqyated, weird and most of them are in black and white..

ZING!

Good news everyone!

I just figured out how to send picture blog entries from my phone. You are welcome.

Voice Over Work

This is me hard at work making funny voices for a video game.

So yes, I have been screwing arond with the blogger software and I sense that my webpage will become many times more obnoxious fast.

Pray for me...

RED ROCK WEST

If you ever saw the movie Coyote Ugly, then you understand what the bar Red Rock West is.  Red is a bar where the bartenders are all hot and rowdy and at the drop of a hat they get up and dance on the bar; sometime with wigs and hats and other times with water.  The point is, it is a surreal time.

 

What makes it different from a strip club?

 

There are men there drooling over the show, yes, but there are also quite a few hot women who enjoy the chance to publicly get drunk and sometime hop up on the bar themselves.  The beer and liquor flows while both sexes have a glee filled evening.

 

Could there be a downside?

 

At about 3 am, an hour before closing, many of the hot women leave as quite a few less attractive women show up.  The men who have been there drinking all night are helpless in the grips of the scarier looking ladies who have time the night just eight so that they can go home and "get down".

 

This "changing of the guard" is not gender specific, there are several attractive women who wake up the next morning with "Fat Billy" in their arms.

 

Oh Red Rock, haven of botched decisions.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

The ShiningCCCCCcCCcc

Last night I hung out with some people I know and others that I barely new. As I watched the interactions that people had from across the bar, i began to feel more and more detached from the other people in the room. When you can't quite make out what people are saying you get a greater sense of how we, as people relate directly to animals. The gesturing and the dull melodic tones that we use to communicate to one another is only exaggerated when it is a chorus of drunken men trying to show off their colored underbelly for the women who are present.

And now something funny:

CLICK HERE

Any Press is Good PressCC

In New York magazine there was an article where the reporter went around to open mikes one night ad wrote a review of what he thought of the performers.

I got a call from a friend telling me that they mentioned me favorably when they happened to run across me at a show. In fact they did mention me favorably, but the description of me leading up to the favorable mention is enough to offset the mention altogether.

Thanks, New York Magazine.

Here's the link.

I'm in the last section about the Bowery Poetry Club

CLICK HERE

________________
www.bestalbino.com

Long Night tonigh

I think the only thing wrong with being chased around by someone that you would really rather never see is that you have to look at them in order to know which way to run.

 

How dare I let someone have so much power over me that when they stand near me I feel that I have to move.

 

I have never chugged a beer but somehow tonight I won a beer chugging contest anyway.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

How crazy was my cab driver?

I get in a cab at Avenue A and Houston and then I say to the cab driver, "Williamsburg, Brooklyn.  The second exit please.

 

"Money up front."  The driver replies in an accent so thick that I have to ask him to repeat himself three time.

 

"No, you don't get money up front."  I say and take note of his cab number.

 

The driver demands that I get out and I threaten to call the non emergency line and report him.  The driver comes around the side, because I am still sitting in the back of the cab, and before he can grab me I say, "Touch me and I will call the police."

 

The driver grabs me, and I push him away by the face.  I sit in the cab and dial 911.  I put them on speakerphone.  As soon as he hears the emergency operator, he gets in the cab and begins to speed away.  I am still in the cab.  The cab door, the passenger door that I am sitting next to, is still open.

 

I tell the emergency operator what's going on and the driver yells back "No, no.... I take you to Williamsburg."

 

On the phone the emergency operator suggests that if I have any more trouble that I should just call her, but she think that the cab driver is plenty scared at the fact that she took down his car number.  I think she's right so I let him drive me home.

 

"You have no idea how many people get out of cab and run."

 

"I don't care.  You better give me back exact change."

 

I am at home now, with sixty cents change in my pocket.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

If you read this-

You are a kick ass person.

 

I know, who aim I to say who is exceptional or not?  But why not me?

 

You rock!

________________
www.bestalbino.com

The Girls as Frinds Thing

The truth is that I have had the "girls as friends" conversation lately and I think I now have a handle on it.  There are a fw circumstance in whic it works out just fine.

 

1. Agirl can be your friend, assuming that you are a guy, if you have lready dated them or an and there is no chanc that you want to get back together with them.

 

2.  A girl can be your friend if you were never attracted to her.  If she has an uglky personality or for some reason she jst doesn't float your boat then fine, you can be friends.

 

3.  If you, meaning me, ae really atrated to a girl and she is not relly attracted to you and she wants to be friends then you ca ntry to be friends but honestly, there may be a little weirdness.  I mena you can be friend but it will be hard to turn off the feeling that mayb, just maybe, if things were different you could be togeher.  The best way to solve this problem is for the girl to do somethingthat is somehow screwed up and then she would lose face in your, meaning my, eyes adn you would no longer be attracted to her. This has happened many times over.

 

4.  If you have recently broken up with a girl that trumps the girls that you have seen since then you can be friends easily with the secondary girls while they tey to durvive in the shadow of your former light.  This is not cool in any way but its just the wy that things are so suck it up/  Seriously suck it up.

 

5.  If the girl is related to you then it is easy to be her frien.  The other choice is to be damned by god and seriously, that sucks.

 

That's my take on it,

Done with the movie

So, Okay, I am aback in NYC and I am happy to say that I had a peachy time working on the movie and all is well.

 

Florida is great.  The Florida outback in the wilds of the adventure unlimited camping ground, not so great.  There were more bugs ready to bite and sting than I think I have ever seen in my life.  There were also a huge number of these "lovebugs" all around.  Have you ever heard of these.  Two of these spend their whole life attached to one another.  They have sex for extended periods of time and they even fly around while still connected.  Their flying around while connected makes them really easy to smack out of the air. There were so many of these bugs that at one point I went to open a door to a cabin and my hand was instantly smeared with the broke bodies of these bugs that  I had just inadvertently crushed under my hand.  I made a ton of little bug Romeo and Juliets in one fell swoop.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

HOLIDAY DAY 4

Yesterday was simple. I got an axe to the head and then I was done shooting for the day. The most interesting thing was that they were trying to do a bullet time effect like in the matrix. With several cameras lined up with remotes, they shot the scene iso that time will slow down and then you see it from all angles.

After I wraped I went into 'town' to get a litle excitement. I don't know what I was thinking.

holiday- day three

Okay so yesterday was an experience that is hard to sum up. In this movie I play a character who runs a convenience store., speaks in a thick southern accent, and stutters. No big deal usually but in this film, we are shooting on location in a convenience store in Milton, Florida. There is a sense of embarrassment when you portray a southern stutterer in front of southern stutterers.

Some of the people who came into the convenience store wore shirts but they were in the minority. There was one guy who came in wearing a beard, a tattoo, and overalls. He had come in to pick up his moring beer. I don't fault him for having a morning beer, I fault mydelf for never seeing the light.

Today I challenged the entire crew to a dance off at lunch time. Later I will be killed by an axe.

WHAT WE DID ON OUR HOLIDAY DAY 2

So what if they didn't have someone to meet me at the airport and saved sendine me my itenerary until the last minute. Once I met the director, steve, and the cinematographer, george, my heart melted and everything was fine.

I awoke this morning to text message with a friend and complain / gloat about being in the wilderness.

,y call time was at 630 and an AD who was overly concerned about her figure later in the day knocked on my door to tell me that Steve would be by to grab me later. And grab me he did... Kidding.

today we shoot at a convenience store and FrankM the leadM and I will talk about my stutter. More later.

WHAT WE DID ON OUR HOLIDAY DAY 2

So what if they didn't have someone to meet me at the airport and saved sendine me my itenerary until the last minute. Once I met the director, steve, and the cinematographer, george, my heart melted and everything was fine.

I awoke this morning to text message with a friend and complain / gloat about being in the wilderness.

,y call time was at 630 and an AD who was overly concerned about her figure later in the day knocked on my door to tell me that Steve would be by to grab me later. And grab me he did... Kidding.

today we shoot at a convenience store and FrankM the leadM and I will talk about my stutter. More later.

day1 part 2

check this out. I have no internet and barely no phone service out here at the campsite where we are shooting at. want to know where I am? go to www.adventures unlimited . com to see the light.

david carradine is not here yet but one of the local women who has a tooth deficiency says that she has a whole load of 'sugar' waotong for him.

none for me I guess.

Fw: What We Did on our Holiday - Day 1

I am about to go to the airport on and fly into Pensacola Florida.  This is the move that I am working on: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475431/

 

Apparently, on my first shooting day (tomorrow)  I will meet David Carradine.  I hope that I can excite him in to Karate chopping me.  I really don't think that there's much of a chance that he still has the power that he had in the early days.  Maybe he'll read this and prove me wrong.

 

Anyway, I am definitely excited about the trip. Want to see inside the Hollywood machine?

 

Here is an e-mal I sent to my agent this morning.

 

Hi,

 

I am about to head to the airport.  I still do not know.

 

1.  Who is picking me up in Florida, if anyone

2.  Where I will be staying

3.  I know nothing about daily per diem

 

I called the production office this weekend , and left a message,but as of yet, I have had no call back.

 

Anyway we can get some of these answers before I land?

 

Making movies is fun!

 

Victor

 

I should get a mid sized travel bag because all I have is the small and the large one and this trip is right in the middle.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

It'a a shame that George Bush doesn't care about black people..

But let's sing about it.

BIZARRO

Look at my new Bizarro T-Shirt.

When I was buying it they pointed to a purple t-shirt with a reverse S and a Blue T-shirt with a reverse S and the teller asked "The animated bizarro or the print Bizarro."

I said , "The purple one.."

About KATRINA

Someone forwarded this to me

i heard from my aunt last night that my cousin Denise
made it out of New Orleans; she's at her brother's in
Baton Rouge. from what she told me:

her mother, a licensed practical nurse, was called in
to work on Sunday night at Memorial Hospital
(historically known as Baptist Hospital to those of us
from N.O.). Denise decided to stay with her mother,
her niece and grandniece (who is 2 years old); she
figured they'd be safe at the hospital. they went to
Baptist, and had to wait hours to be assigned a room
to sleep in; after they were finally assigned a room,
two white nurses suddenly arrived after the cut-off
time (time to be assigned a room), and Denise and her
family were booted out; their room was given up to the
new nurses. Denise was furious, and rather than stay
at Baptist, decided to walk home (several blocks away)
to ride out the storm at her mother's apartment. her
mother stayed at the hospital.

she described it as the scariest time in her life. 3
of the rooms in the apartment (there are only 4) caved
in. ceilings caved in, walls caved in. she huddled
under a mattress in the hall. she thought she would
die from either the storm or a heart attack. after the
storm passed, she went back to Baptist to seek shelter
(this was Monday). it was also scary at Baptist; the
electricity was out, they were running on generators,
there was no air conditioning. Tuesday the levees
broke, and water began rising. they moved patients
upstairs, saw boats pass by on what used to be
streets. they were told that they would be evacuated,
that buses were coming. then they were told they would
have to walk to the nearest intersection, Napoleon and
S. Claiborne, to await the buses. they waded out in
hip-deep water, only to stand at the intersection, on
the neutral ground (what y'all call the median) for 3
1/2 hours. the buses came and took them to the Ernest
Morial Convention Center. (yes, the convention center
you've all seen on TV.)

Denise said she thought she was in hell. they were
there for 2 days, with no water, no food. no shelter.
Denise, her mother (63 years old), her niece (21 years
old), and 2-year-old grandniece. when they arrived,
there were already thousands of people there. they
were told that buses were coming. police drove by,
windows rolled up, thumbs up signs. national guard
trucks rolled by, completely empty, soldiers with guns
cocked and aimed at them. nobody stopped to drop off
water. a helicopter dropped a load of water, but all
the bottles exploded on impact due to the height of
the helicopter.

the first day (Wednesday) 4 people died next to her.
the second day (Thursday) 6 people died next to her.
Denise told me the people around her all thought they
had been sent there to die. again, nobody stopped. the
only buses that came were full; they dropped off more
and more people, but nobody was being picked up and
taken away. they found out that those being dropped
off had been rescued from rooftops and attics; they
got off the buses delirious from lack of water and
food. completely dehydrated. the crowd tried to keep
them all in one area; Denise said the new arrivals had
mostly lost their minds. they had gone crazy.

inside the convention center, the place was one huge
bathroom. in order to shit, you had to stand in other
people's shit. the floors were black and slick with
shit. most people stayed outside because the smell was
so bad. but outside wasn't much better: between the
heat, the humidity, the lack of water, the old and
very young dying from dehydration... and there was no
place to lay down, not even room on the sidewalk. they
slept outside Wednesday night, under an overpass.

Denise said yes, there were young men with guns there.
but they organized the crowd. they went to Canal
Street and "looted," and brought back food and water
for the old people and the babies, because nobody had
eaten in days. when the police rolled down windows and
yelled out "the buses are coming," the young men with
guns organized the crowd in order: old people in
front, women and children next, men in the back. just
so that when the buses came, there would be priorities
of who got out first.

Denise said the fights she saw between the young men
with guns were fist fights. she saw them put their
guns down and fight rather than shoot up the crowd.
but she said that there were a handful of people shot
in the convention center; their bodies were left
inside, along with other dead babies and old people.

Denise said the people thought there were being sent
there to die. lots of people being dropped off, nobody
being picked up. cops passing by, speeding off.
national guard rolling by with guns aimed at them. and
yes, a few men shot at the police, because at a
certain point all the people thought the cops were
coming to hurt them, to kill them all. she saw a young
man who had stolen a car speed past, cops in pursuit;
he crashed the car, got out and ran, and the cops shot
him in the back. in front of the whole crowd. she saw
many groups of people decide that they were going to
walk across the bridge to the west bank, and those
same groups would return, saying that they were met at
the top of the bridge by armed police ordering them to
turn around, that they weren't allowed to leave.

so they all believed they were sent there to die.

Denise's niece found a pay phone, and kept trying to
call her mother's boyfriend in Baton Rouge, and
finally got through and told him where they were. the
boyfriend, and Denise's brother, drove down from Baton
Rouge and came and got them. they had to bribe a few
cops, and talk a few into letting them into the city
("come on, man, my 2-year-old niece is at the
Convention Center!"), then they took back roads to get
to them.

after arriving at my other cousin's apartment in Baton
Rouge, they saw the images on TV, and couldn't believe
how the media was portraying the people of New
Orleans. she kept repeating to me on the phone last
night: make sure you tell everybody that they left us
there to die. nobody came. those young men with guns
were protecting us. if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't
have had the little water and food they had found.

that's Denise Moore's story.

Lisa C. Moore

________________
www.bestalbino.com

Oh no. What am I doing here?

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

I had a talk withnysekf today. We really got along.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

There is no excuse for the stupiduty that I feel.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

2/2 otice....

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

1/2 Watching crazy people have a conversation Is especially fun if they never notice that you are watching. I hope that they don't n

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

So I went dancing

I went dancing while Iafter my younger brother's wedding reception.  Congratulations to him by the way.

 

Dancing was fun but more than that, I never realizd what a god time it is to to go partying with all my brothers.  I dn't think that I've had a better time out in a long while.  If it wer up to me I would do it every weekend, but unfortunatle I live many states away.

 

I want to go on a writing retreat so that I can just to tke a few weeks off and chill in Minnesota. Tjat would be so nice...

 

 

Chelsea Peretti

Google her. 

 

She don't know how to fight.

Shrimp Cocktail

I had a conversation today where my girl was like, "I can't believe that you didn't have shrimp cocktail before you were 19."

 

She grew up rich.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

Hey there everyone.. I am in a bar with friends gettinf drunk. I just thought thatt I would drop a note to worry my mom.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Michael Jackson

Michael has proven that beyond a doubt he is a smooth criminal.

I am at work

And there is a woman in my house right now.

Who is the genius-

Who is the genius that invented the Coinstar machine. I gotta say... that is my absolute fovorite thing!  I can't wait to get rid of bundles of change on those things.

 

If I hhave any change at all I just throw it into a jar in anticipation of the time when I can pour it all into a counstar machine and turn it into regular money.

 

It's not greed.  It's fun!

 

Victor

Ugh! Stupid Phone

There was supposed to be a picture posted there and I don't think that it made it.  I really don't want to go through the trouble of uploading and posting the real picture because i a LA-ZY!

 

I often try to do things that I think will be cool but then I get bored quickly is they take too much time.   This refers to everything except artsy stuff, or relationships.

 

I love to do artsy stuff and sometimes it has been a problem.

 

I also love my girlfriend, so doing anything with her is a plus and not a minus at all.  She is a little sassy.

This is how I wake up in the norning

A friend called me too early so I sent him a little message through the magic of the camera phone. This is what I look like in bed.

Love is silly isn't it?

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Cats put to restHere

If you were really wondering what the heck is going on with most cats, then here's your chance.

HERE

I think that settles it.

Making Video Games

Right now I am making vidoe games with Atari.  I am the head writer for agame that is really funny and I do voices for two of the characters in the game.

 

I have to admit, though that even though the writing is fun, I can barely come into an office every day and write comedy.  It's an oxy-moron and I'm the moron.

 

See how I did that?  That's why they pay me the mediom bucks.

 

 

I love Robots

I spent an entire month building a robot costume and making a movie with it.  You should check it out... right.

 

http://www.channel102.net/view.php?epid=14

________________
www.bestalbino.com

AIDS mug

Today I went to the doctor and I had an AIDS test.  You all should.  I tested negative.

 

After the test, the doctor gave me a mug.  I was suprised that the mug was part of the routine at the AIDS clinic, because, there is a problem.

 

Ifo someone tests positive, does the doctor still try to give them a mug?

SHOCKER

I got in a conversation about this movie recently.  I really think that you should watch the preview and then find the movie and watxh that.

 

http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=999

 

word!

SHOCKER

http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=999

 

Please watch this trailer and then this movie.  It's about time people really got into crazy horror movies again.  Aint nothing better than horror movies where the killer is indestructible and the hero is captain of the football team.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

SHOCKER

http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=999

Please watch this trailer and then this movie. It's about time people really got into crazy horror movies again. Aint nothing better than horror movies where the killer is indestructible and the hero is captain of the football team.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

Making a Video Game

Those of you who don't know must know that for the past few weeks I have been in New York City working as a creative on a new video game for Atari.

 

I love video games and I love making them, I found.

 

Word to your mommy.