Bestalbino Podcast 010 - How to Punch a Lady

We welcome Jessica Delfino, the hilarious comedian / singer / artist / blah blah blah.. We had to do a show in a bar other than the bar we had planned to be in so there was a jukebox. Enjoy!

- How to Punch a girl

- New Years Plans

- Whn to laugh

- Nude Time

- Pee Pee Pizza

Technolojerk

My phone gives me way too much information. Right now when a call comes in, it shows me the callers name as well as their Facebook status.

The biggest problem is that it doesn't set the tone for the call and sometimes it's the complete opposite. My Lawyer is on acebook. Do I really need to see that he likes to drink and watch jersey shore before I ask him important legal advice?

the answer is, yes... So I know to get a new lawyer.

BestAlbino Podcast 009 - The Ex Ball and Chain Stops by

Myka Fox joins us with her crazy ass self.

- Martha Stewart punked me.

- DVD Commentary

- Child Pornography laws

- The Ethical Slut

Sick Dogs Have it bad

I feel bad that when a dog is sick, the vet will check them out by sticking a finger in their butt. Although when I get checks out by my doctor and he has to stick a finger in my butt... i kind of like it.

I might like it too much, because when I go to the doctor with just a fever... sometimes I'll try to get him to check through my butt. Worse still, sometimes he does! Am I the jerk for wanting the butt check or is he the jerk for checking butt when the problem is that I obviously need therapy?

When a dog's butt gets check they just kind of stare at their masters with a kind of "You did this." face.

KICK ASS TRAILER

This Movie is going to rock.

Sure the Jersey Shore is horrible

But did you know that if you dig around on the MTV website enough that you can find stuff that s really worth watching?

Remember when they had a show on called MTV's oddities? Remember the Maxx? They still have full episodes available and that is awesome.

Victor Vrnado - Breakthrough Radio Interview

Marcus interviews me about my comedy ideas and career. I think I always sound crazy in every interview that I have.

Thanks for making me look good Marcus.

http://www.breakthruradio.com/index.php?show=8792

BestAlbino Podcast 008 - New Comic Night

Claudia and I are joined by Beth Mcgregor. She funny. She slinky dancey.

- The Party
- The Black Audition
- Dexter
- Rick Springfield

Bestalbino Podcast 007 - The Most Important Internal Discover Ever

Claudia and I are back and spend a little time delving into the bleakness of our own souls.

- ATT Sucks
- Hacking and iPhone
- Thanksgiving
- Steven Segal
- Californication
- Dating

Bestalbino Podcast 006 - A date with Diane O'Debra

Everything you always wanted to know about boos. Especially whether or not bobs gets you more attention than albinism.

Bestalbino Podcast 005 - Two Black Guys and a White Girl

This is another wonder episode with our guest this time Remmy Benice!

- About Being Black
- Lesbian Date Storytelling
- Lack of the N word
- The new movie!

Bestalbino Podcast 004 - Unlicensed Psychologist

This week our guest John O'Donnel let's you know how certain types of insanity will get you laid laid laid.

- Halloween Reflections
- Being Manic get's you laid
- John is not OCD!!!
- Facebook make you selfish
- Petty Scrabble Stuff
- Extreme Paranormal
- A phone call with Myka and Myq
- Myka and the Marathon
- SEGMENT / THINGS I HAVE TEXTED TO GIRLS.

Bestalbino Podcast 003 - Don't Talk About My P*nis

Welcome to our first guest, Myq Kaplan! Here he is right before he tapes his first half hour special for Comedy Central. Funny and guy!.

In this episode.

- Enough about my p*nis!
- The night and party before
- Claudia is in trouble
- Comedy Central likes Myq more
- The amazing Albino Race
- Halloween Costumes
- WORKING ON A JOKE
a new weekly segment where I talk about a joke that I am writing.
- The dating game.

Bestalbino Podcast 002 - The Human Centipede

In this episode, I find out why i hurt the things I like. With special guest, Myka Fox.

Stuff we cover:

- How I met my ex.
- Emotional courtesy.
- I stood a girl up and don't feel that bad about it.
- A portrait of poop.
- Paranormal Activity
- The Human Centipede
- Maria Shriver and Shwarzenegger.

Enjoy

The Harry Potter Rule

If you are friends with Harry Potter and you have been so for many years, and you find out that he is the chosen one,, try listening to him. Like when THE CHOSEN ONE who has been right for seven years says he thinks someone might be evil and saw them doing evil things, don't say, "I'm sure you were mistaken, Harry."

Better still, Harry, how about saying, "IDIOT! I am the chosen one! Don't mess with this perfection! I am always right and I winn every Quiddige game, so let's start paying attention to the scarred wizard over here and put this shit to rest!. Damn! I didn't want to have to go off like that, but ya'll made me get my wand up!"

That's the Harry Potter Rule.

Bestalbino Podcast 001 - The Formula For Vagina

This is the very first episode of my new weekly podcast. Sorry about the audio in the beginning. It gets better and by next week we will have new mics and all. Check it out though. It's funny.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- Claudia discloses the secret formula for vagina
- The kissing contest
- How Claudia and I met
- Alopecia Party
- The Roomate of a terrorist
- Keith and the Girl Fans
- What a dick I am

Enjoy!

Watch 20/20 tonight and see me.

Yes, people at ABC were trusting enough to put me on camera.

 

In truth, the hour is a profile of albinism around the world.  As part of that profile, they talk to me for a while considering I am one of the more successful people with albinism in entertainment.

 

Here's a preview.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerindex?id=8716094

 

I hate the sound of my own voice.

 

Victor

 

20/20 thinks I'm newsworthy

In fact, they may be wrong, but they did follow me around for a  while and take my picture a lot.  This is a great web piece to compliment the show that airs soon. (Friday)  It should be a hoot.

 

What exactly is a hoot?

 

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerindex?id=8716094

 

 

 

I have a request

An open letter to:

http://www.splendidthingsimprov.com/

I realize that you guys are busy putting your show together, but it would make me the happiest fan of Splendid Things if you could incorporate more frowny black and white pictures into your press materials.  I get no greater pleasure than imagining what your show will be like when I let myself drift into the distant gazes of some of your current photographs, but if you could add even more I think that my journey into the sad place where unsmiling clowns sip from tiny teacups would be complete and I would be ready to delve into your show.

Also, less babydoll heads, that shit is creepy.

Yours,
Victor Varnado
.A big "fan".

Racist Plotlines

I know I complained about the blackface on Mad Men last week or so.  Well this week there was a plotline where Pete Campbell figures out that a line of televisions were selling very well to Negroes and decides to question the elevator attendant, who is white-JUST KIDDING HE IS BLACK,  and ask him what kind of TV's he and his friends buy.  At one point Pete looks him in the face and asks, "Do you think I'm a bigot?"  PLEASE HAVE THESE RACIST PLOTLINES ADD UP TO SOMETHING IN THE END.

 

Yesterday I watched Sons of Anarchy, you know the show about a motorcyclye gang?  The protagonists are bikers, who are pretty racist whenever they encounter black  people in the show, but to balance is out, this season they have brought in Henry Rollins t play the bad guy, who is a white supremist.  Protagonist racism multiplied by antagonists really racism equals me pouting on my couch.

 

It’s not like these shows are the only shows out there.  I know not all of TV is having racist plotlines this season, but damn! did I ever get short end of the stick on my DVR picks.

 

ROBOTO SUPREMO need your help

Hey guys. Remember that giant robot short film tht I began working on about a year ago? Let me remind you.



www.robotosupremo.com

Anyways, during the time that I finished it and now I finished a whole other movie (www.awkwardkings.com( and managed to sell that one to Comedy central. Which is awesome.... buuuuut...

I need to finish Roboto Supremo and am in need of some help.

VFX - I am looking for someone with knowledge of visual effects composting and perhaps Apple Motion of after effects. Especially someone who likes lasers, robots and giant, monster effects.

COMPOSER - We had a wonderful composer that had to move and start working on a different project while this film was in hiatus. We would love to have someone new who is inspired by what you see here.

Anyhow, pass this along to anyone you know that might be interested and thanks for reading.

email replies to:

victor at bestalbino dot com

The Waffle Song (Hip Hop Challenge #2)

Abou six weeks ago I, and a friend let an audience name the rap song that we would both make different versions of and then perform at a show. The only rule was that they had to have the same title and we couldn't see each others work before we performed.

Here's "Bitch, make Me Waffles."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIJhcQEs5uo

The Hip Hop Challenge

Tomorrow is the day.

My friend Dianne and I made a bet that the two of us wouldn't make
original hip hop songs and the. Go perform at a serious hip hop open mic

Well we both made songs and we perform them tomorrow (Tuesday) night.

Here's to not getting shot when I perform my song " I'm the best at
everything. "

And I hope Dianne survives performing " shake it like a baby. "

There will be videos posted

Audition

From time to time, I have to oversee auditions. It's cool to see behind the scenes of casting movies sometimes. Here's a rare look.



Or you can just go here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XAfqAiNCUw

Ghost Hoop

This is an interesting bit of weirdness.

A short experiment in choreographing for reverse video.




or check it out here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7rjSG_Z3w

No thanks Tanzania

I don't want to go to Tanzania.

Some of the less educated locals are hunting people with albinism and cutting off their legs to for their magical powers. It 's not bad enough that I had to deal with fear and presjudice growing up as an albino. now you want to take my magic powers too?! I need that, man.

Dear Madonna

I know that your second Malwai child adoption was thwarted, sorry.  Do you think it might be because your first child (pictured here) that you adopted's only toy is a crazy looking stick?  Give your kid a real toy.  Just cause he was born in the third world doesn't mean he's partial to sticks!

Super Lover

So, last night I went to a hip hop showcase /  contest thing and I started talking to some of the younger  "MCs" about older rap songs.  Bear in mind that the mean age was like 22.  Point is, that none of them had ever heard of Super Lover Cee and Casanova Rudd, more specifically their song Girls, I got Em Locked.

 

I don't owant anyone else to have that missing from ther hip hop vocabulary.

 

So… Enjoy.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq-h-RsZzZc

 

Touch a girl owned by  me and I'll ruin ya

Smack you withmy mic simultaneously as I'm doin ya

 

bestalbino.com

 

 

Joke of the Week

Hey there.  Check out Time Out New York's joke of the week this week.  It's me in there jokety joking it up.

 

http://www.timeout.com/newyork/articles/comedy/71791/victor-varnado

 

Or don't.

It IS a booty call.

If someone who has previously booty called you a lot texts you out of the blu at 2 am theen say it's not a booty call THEY ARE LYING.  It IS a booty call and they want some booty.

 

Smack it up flip it rub it down.

Oh Nooooooooooooo.

ROBOTO SUPREMO

You like robots? I like robots.

Here is a teaser for a short film that I wrote and directed. It has giant robots and Michel Gondry.

www.robotosupremo.com

Victor

Defriending

I De0friended my first facebook friends when she posted and article about how Obama is causing black genocide by supporting pro-choice.  Really?  DE-FRIENDED.

Buy My CD

Important information about buying a rap CD.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySPeSn_shs

Left 4 Dead

Okay, this is a great videogame.  Yes it's another zombie apocolypse game but the best part is that you can also play the zombies!!!

 

There is nothing more satisfying than pushing a button that causes you to leap onto someone and start eating their entrails…

 

 

Diet Pills - A joke )VIDEO)

Very important information about dieting.

Time to go on the road.

I have never been fond of performing on the road, but I know that there are many adventures to be had out there, so I am about to make my first real road gig / tour thingy. I mean, yes, I have done gigs at colleges but that is a whole different beast.

The first time that I ever performed at a comedy club on the road I spent about twenty minutes telling someone in the front row that they looked like the mother from the Addams family and then turned the whole audience against me.

Here's to more of the same.

Boston can eat it!

So I was up for a directing gig in Boston, and I was excited because it would have been my first horror movie, but suddenly the financing got pulled and it evaporated,  UGH!  U have the entertainment business sometimes.

 

Any productions going on out there that need an extra hand?  or motion graphics?  or something?

 

I'm going back to atlantic city,  :(

happy whatever!!!

Happy new year everyone. I hope that everyone has a fantastic 2009. I made a resolution to direct a new feature this year. We'll see if I can hold myself to that

I know I've already directed two but this will be my first narrative feature that I wrote and direted this year. Weeeee!!!

Sent from my iButthole