Thursday, February 21, 2008

Dtop it Facebook

I am so tired of facebook.  It's so much work!
 
If I log in one more time to find out that a vampire has bitten me again then I am going to scream!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Sport Fishing

You know what the difference is between fishing and sport fishing?   If you call it sport fishing, you are that much more delusional about it.  The stupidest part about it is they don't even use the term sport fishing to describe the kind of fishing that's actually dangerous.  You know like the big new England  fisherman with the crazy facial hair that leave their families for months at a time and are sometimes pulled over the edge of the boat in a storm, or their fingers are ripped off by a net that's too heavy?  Those guys are just fishermen.  A "sport" fisherman is trying to catch as many tuna as he can in the least amount of time and then complains if the line breaks. 
 
I'd love to see a conversation between the two of them.
 
Sport Fisherman:  I had a rough day.  I lost my favorite lure.
 
Fisherman: Uh... well we got hit by a hurricane and the waves swept me over the deck... right next to the net... there was a school of mackerel that we were fishing for... anyway, the school had attracted a shark... and that's when he took my arm off... and most of my torso...
 
Sport Fisherman:  Well, the government forces us to throw our catches back cause they think it's wrong that we don't eat them.
 
Fisherman:  I won't be able to reproduce....
 
 

Friday, February 15, 2008

Roach problem?

We really need to get this place sprayed. There's a granola chick in
the office here. I think this crawled out of her pubic hair.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Kitty!

Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Tuna Steak

I had tuna steak yesterday.  I remember the last time I had tuna steak I ended up being sentenced to my bathroom by a jury of my leaky butt for hours...  I forget though.  I forget that something happened because I tend to remeber the occurance but forget what the cause was exactly.  I
 
Thaat's why shortly after my meal yesterday I was sweating at a Starbucks and wondering how I was going to explain the smell to the line of people waiting at the bathroom door.
 
I'm single ladies!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Game Night

Okay, I ended up spending time at a game night at a bar and it was some of the most fun I've had in a VERY long time.  I alwasy enjoy when I get to beat the crap out of someone that talks a lot of yang in Scrabble and then lord it over them for the rest of the night.  I wish it was cool to just slap the loser across the face.
 
Game night, it really brings people together.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Remember Hexadecimal?

49 27 6d 20 67 6f 69 6e 67 20 74 6f 20 68 61 76 65 20 61 20 70 6f 6b 65 72 20 61 6e 64 20 6b 6e 69 74 74 69 6e 67 20 70 61 72 74 79 21 20 20 4e 6f 74 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 20 49 27 6d 20 67 61 79 2c 20 62 75 74 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 20 49 20 61 6d 20 61 20 6d 61 6e 20 77 68 6f 20 69 73 20 63 6f 6d 66 6f 72 74 61 62 6c 65 20 77 69 74 68 20 66 65 6d 69 6e 69 6e 65 20 74 68 69 6e 67 73 2e 20 20 59 65 73 2c 20 49 20 61 6d 20 73 61 79 69 6e 67 20 49 20 61 6d 20 63 6f 6d 66 6f 72 74 61 62 6c 65 20 77 69 74 68 20 76 61 67 69 6e 61 73 21 0d 0a 0d 0a 49 66 20 59 6f 75 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 74 6f 20 63 6f 6d 65 20 74 6f 20 6d 79 20 70 61 72 74 79 2c 20 6c 65 74 20 6d 65 20 6b 6e 6f 77 2e
 

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Angry robot

I'm working on a logo for my production company. I love robots.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Naked Show Review

Okay, so yes, I performed at the Naked Standup Showcase and I was totally nude in front of a clothed and nude mixed audience.  Just telling jokes.
 
Anyway, I thought it would be funny to enter the stage crying like Coa-Coa from fame.  I was hunched over and covering my junk as tears ran down my face.  This was funny to many of the clothed people, but the nudists that thing think that nudity is nothing to make fun of had a different idea.
 
Anyhow, the main thing that I realized was that everyone was hyper-sensitive to everything that you said.  I admit that I thought the audience was going to spend a lot of time just staring at my balls, they're beautiful, but it was as if everyone was heavily invested in every syllable that escaped your lips.  Weird.
 
Fun show though.  I recommend it to people with hot bodies, their more fun to watch.  I know that's not the nudist way, but f that.
 
 

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Big Cup. Tiny Spoon

At the coffee shop around the corner from my apartment they serve
coffee on giant cups with tiny spoons. It feels like you're a giant
that found an even bigger giants cup of coffee but you only had a spoon
from a villager.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Naked Stand Up

Right, so this saturday I am participating in a naked stand-up show.

 

The details:

SAT Feb 2, Showtime is at 8PM, and the cover is $10.

Tickets are Now available at: The PIT

www.thepit-nyc.com
The People's Improv Theatre
154 W. 29th Street
New York, NY 10001
(212) 563-7488 for Reservations and Info

Okay, you have the details, now here are my thoughts.  at first I was nervouse because I am a bit of a physicl performer and I assumed that it my be distrating to see my twig and berries whirling around, but when I found out that many of the audience members that come to the show are nudists and in fact the crowd will be pretty naked as well, well that just scared me even more.  I want to be clear;  I am not afraid of nudity, but does mass nudity disturb me a little?  We'll see what happens on saturday…