Thursday, July 24, 2008

Sent from my blank.

I happent to think that if you have an iphone (I do) or a Blackberry and you have the signoff on it that says "Sent from my iphone" on it all the time, it seems a little pretentious.


However, if you change the signoff (I didi) and you are not careful, you may have accidentally sent an email to a business that ends with the signoff "Sent from my Butthole." 


I did.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Lot to do.

Today is one of those days when you realize that you have so much on your plate that you just might choke on it when you it.  Here's what I am up to right now.  You tell me if I am in over my head.


1.  Right now I am writing like 40 jokes a day for a video game project that is due out in September.  That may not sound like much but it's kind of a  chore to write a compelling joke.  Here's an insult that I wrote that one character says to another.  "Hey, is that garnage  I smell or do you have your pants off?"


2.  My film Roboto Supremo is well on it's way to finishing it's rough draft.  I made a version of this short a long time ago with no  money and built the costume out of acrdboard.  It looked like this.


This time I invested a little money and hired a production designer.  Now it looks like this.


I also go tMichel Gondry to play a part in the movie.  I'm super excited about it, but alas..  it is a lot of work.


3.  I started work on a new performance documentary feature film that I am hastily doing fundraising and pre production for.  Producing STINKS!!  Directing and writing rocks.


4.  Lastly, I am taking care of a brand new cat.  He's awsome, but attacks my feet a lot.


Too much bitten off…now I am trying to chew it.





Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Lost My Voice

So I lost my voice. 


One thing about losing your voice, you feel like such a jackass when people have to pay special attention to you when you talk just to hear something.  When I can speak normally, it's no big deal if I say something stupid and someone overhears. But if I say something dumb in an offhand comment and someone has to lean in or even ask other people to be quiet just so I can be heard…   Man I feel like a dick.

Monday, July 14, 2008

New Kitty

I got a kittty today.  I wanted one for a long time.  there is a pe store near me and I saw a lady about to drop this kitten off there..  Pet stores are notoriously bad places for cats to catch diseases and other random awfulness so I saved hime.


His name is Ding Ding.



Sorry So Disturbing

So I was performing at this show in Thompkins Square Park and they had a stand there where you could put your face in the picture with Obama.  My skin tone was a close match to the pfoto.


Sorry so disturbing.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Invention Part 3 - Black Inventions

The best thing about inventions of any kind is that anyone can enjoy them. Although there is one invention that is probably going to be made in the future that  black people are not going to get the chance to enjoy.  A time machine. 


Black people have no use for a time machine.


I mean, yes.  If you had a huge time machine then you could load it up and go back in time and then give every slave an automatic weapon… but then you'd have to deal with a world with no white men and white women kept as sex slaves in cages.  (Well… that's what I'd do.)


Or you could go back to Africa and teach everyone how to hide better so that when slavers came they don't find anyone, but speaking from the point of view of a black albino, there is just too much sun in the jungles of Africa and besides that, I like my DVR.


So why not go to the future?  Because all the races would have mixed into a mocha frapachino blend, only listen to techno and dress in earth tones.  I saw the Matrix.  I don't need to be pegged by a robot in the back of my head.



Thursday, July 10, 2008

Inventions Part 2 - Laserdiscs

The saddest kind of invention is the kind that a lot of technophiles latch onto and then technology quickly moves past them, but those people are determined to hold on to their gadgets because it was a good idea that just never caught on.  It happens… the Betamax was actually a superior format to the VHS tape but people just went with the VHS tape because it was cheaper and the Betamax people had made a format that was beyone what most televisions at the time could show.


 I know the guy who made the Beta probably was the coolest guy at Sony until they figured out that he had basically made a DVD back when people only had 8 track players.  "Yeah… Nice work on the useless hunk of plastic ribbon, Yasko!"  Maybe his name wasn't Yasko, but what a great name to teaso someone with.  "Betmax?  More like Beta-WACK, Yasko!"


People gave up the Betamax when it was eclipsed by the VHS tapes, but they stuck wth the Laserdisc player.  Some peope are just die hard about laserdisc players.  They just wont't let go, even thought there don't make new movies for them anymore.  "Hey man, you want to coem over and watch Blade Runner again?  … Aw c'mon!  I got Quadraphonic sound… No?"

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Inventions Part 1 - Cell Phones

Once an invention becomes a part of society then you can't still get away with saying you don't use it because you're not a "mindless  sheep" like the rest of society.  I'm talking to you, people who still don’t have cell phones.  The  cell phone is not a fad!  It  is not a hula hoop!


You might say.  "I don't need one, and if I really need to make a call I can use a  public phone."  Yeah, if you like hand herpes.  The cell phone has changed society to such a degree that we can't look back.  Remember when you had to actually meet your friends on time at an exact place?  Remember when you had to remember phone numbers?  No thanks.   Remember when you couldn't hang up on people and blame it on your signal?  Thank you cell phones.


So anybody who is rejecting this part of civilization, I hope that you're at least have the decency to be running around butt naked saying,  "Clothes are just not my  style."  I hope you are at least brave enough to just poop in a bag and throw it in your back yard.


Cell phones rock.