Friday, November 11, 2005


YOu know how I am writing in weird places all over the city? Well the way I am working is that I write a few pages and then I go somewhere, like a movie or a bar and then I go write some more after that... Okay so last night I went to Mars Bar, this skanky punk bar in the east village, and all hell breaks loose at one point.

I was at the bar with a freind of mine, J and my ex girlfriend M. There was this huge french guy, who wa also very drunk trying to hit on M. Now, I may not be seeing M anymore, but I am very protective of anyone I have ever dated and all of my friends for that matter, M insisted that I stay out of it as this guy was trying to paw at her. I did... sorta.

At one point the tiny bartender cuts off the huge French guy from any further drinking. Of course the french guy gets nuts immediately and takes a swing at the tiny bartender. The tiny bsrtender backs away because, as I just said, the French guy is huge. What neithr I or the French guy knew was that the bartender's, NYU professor, wife was there. She was a mild mannered woman who jumps up on a bar stool and clocks the French guy. The French guy backhands her, yes he backhanded her, and send her sailing backwars down the line of barstools past me.

I am against people hitting women unless they are being a real threat to your life. This was a tiny woman trying to protect her tinier husband and the huge French guy batted her away like it was nothing.

I jump in and hit him in the face and grab his head, while the tiny bartender comes around the bar and jumps on the back of Mr. Frenchie. Adam, a drunk guy who is a regular at the bar who had puked earlier and then decided to keep drinking also grabs the Frnch guy. Remember, this Fren guy is pretty fucking big and of the three of us, the extremely drunk Adam,was the biggest.

The French guy raisies the bartender up in the air with one arm. What? Then the French guy elbows Adam who is too drunk to defend himself and he falls out through the door to the bar and land on his back hitting his head. JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!

At this point, I decide that pulling punches would be stupid so I punch the French guy in the gut a couple of time and takt the air out of him. Once he was doubled over I kick his legs out from under him and he falls forward out the door of the bar. Once he is down I put my knee on his neck and tell him not to move.

"I geev up." He says. and then he starts mumbling.

I explain to him that he can't go back in the bar and that if he starts anymore trouble that he will get really hurt. He mumbles something that is hard to hear with my knee on his throat. i let it off.

"Whar eez dee underground bar?"

I actually laughed out loud.

The topper. I comeoutside later to make a phone call and the guy is still there staggering around the sidewalk. He doesn't remember who I am at all.

- So I take a picture with him.


  1. Anonymous11:38 AM

    I would like to send you info about our film festival and suggest you submit Roboto Supreamo. Check out and if interested send me your contact info at dale at bsfs dot org

  2. This dude looks like Nick Nolte??? Is that a horn comin out of his forehead??

    If ya smelllllllllllllllll what the Vic is cookin.......

    Peace out, Corey

  3. First Born9:49 AM

    Victor, I really hope Mom isn't reading this or she would prob freak. You need to be more careful. That said, great story!

  4. First Born9:50 AM

    By the way, where do you meet these people with one letter names?

  5. Anonymous8:21 PM

    Now THAS'S Livin!!!

  6. Anonymous4:06 PM

    I don't know which one looks more fucked up. - Keith

  7. The answer is YOU

  8. Anonymous6:20 PM

    Yo Vic,
    You have the most amazing sense of humor. Dare I say, you may be funnier than keith maaaalley.