Thursday, January 31, 2008

F U iphone

Did you know the iphone cant send and recieve pictures through MMS. The same way that most phone send pictures?
If you call apple and complain they politely tell you that all you have to do is simply have everyone you know send text messages to your email instead of your phone number.  THAT's your solution.  I should call every frend and business contact that I know and tell them to send me pictures in a different and inconvenient way?  I should change the world around my phone?!  That's like telling everyone that they can only speak to me in adjectives.  I mean, sure, the language that you know and love works fine, but I just decided that I want to do things a different way and now you have to cater to it.
F U apple.
Do you know how embarrassing it is when you tell someone that you can't recieve MMS messages?  Then they're all like, "What?!  You paid five hundred dollars and you cant send MMS?  My phone can and I got it out of the bargain bin at Wal Mart!"  Then I tell them that it can't record movies either and they're like, "WHAT!  My phone can record movies, and I found it in dumpster behind Burger King for free!"  And then I tell them that my phone can't even save pictures that I do recieve through email to my photo album on my phone and they're like "OH MY GOD!  I found my phone in the chest cavity of a dead deer and my phone can do that!  What the FUCK!!!!!!!!"
Come on iphone!
No, I'm not even gonna capitalize the "p" anymore.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Next Self Portrait

This somehow explains a lot about me. Click to animate.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A tad lonely

Today I woke up a tad lonely.  There's nothing in particular wrong.  My career and my life are pretty fantastic right now.  I don't have a serious girlfriend but I like the idea of one.


I;m not sad… just eh… today.  If you see me give me a big hug.


If you don't see me, I'm probably behind you.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Asian Dick Tracy

My friend Randal used to dress normal. Somehow he has landed ay "Asian Dick

I'm a good friend.

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Pacifier

I accidentally saw this movie recently.
The Pacifier, Starring Vin Diesel, is another one of those, "Tough guys is forced to watch a bunch of crazy lovable kid" films.  In the grand tradition of Kindergarten Cop and The Game Plan.
In the Pacifier Diesel is a navy Seal who is forced to watch kids after he fails in a mission where he was supposed to protect their father.  THIS NEVER COMES UP LATER.  The reason that he has to watch the kids is because he got their father killed.  This movie is supposed to be a comedy.  Way to kick it off.
During the first part of the "film"  he comes off as pretty strict and all the kids hate him.  He wont let them do anything and yells all the time.  It looks like they will never get along... until ninjas attack.  Diesel fights off the ninjas and the kids are so grateful that they realize that he was only trying to protect them by being so strict.
Diesel uses Karate to solve most of the problems in the movie.  One girl's scout troop is being constantly harassed by a cub scout troop so Diesel teaches them karate so that they can fight the boys off.  One kid is constantly harassed by his pushy Vice Principal at school.  Diesel beats up the Vice Principal in front of the entire school.  Etc... etc... until the entire cast somehow knows karate and defeats evil by kicking it in the balls.  (This was a kids film.)
See it!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Claudia is

Funny and pretty and KRAZY!!!!

I made a... a...

Thing! YES! I made a thing in my knitting class! I'm going to use it for.... something.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Long Time Knitting

It has been such a long time since I have posted, i apologize.  I spent the holidays in many states of sobriety and among many different types of company.  I broke the proverbial Christmas bread with a once imprisoned "enemy of the city" and spent some time running in fear from my supercharged four year old niece.  (I swear she  couldn't hold still if a donkey sat on her.)
Today is my first private knitting class.  I tried the public class route but the fact that I am a man seems to piss off everyone in the knitting community.  I ended up hiring this guy who knits amazing pieces that are sold in soho.  Tonight, if you came by my house, you'd see two guys just sitting on a couch knitting.