Monday, February 27, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Here's how stupid I am: I a ssumed that she was wearing a costume because we were at the opening of a play. I walked over to her and said, "nice pregnant costume"
Oops. Turns out she was just fat.
Just kidding, she was smuggling a bomb.
Kidding again, she was pregnant.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
There's a clue to my whereabouts in the last paragraph. If you find me, I'll give you a dollar.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
(Horrible and possibly friendship ending mistakes.)
About a week and a half ago I was a little tipsy in a bar and a pretty drunk girl came up to me and tried to kiss me.
I kissed her back.
The girl, I soon realized was ridiculously drunk so I decided to stop kissing her. The girl, was so drunk in fact that me and another guy in the bar and I had to find a woman to take her into the ladies room and help her pee. The girl decides that she wants to go bar hopping and I suggest that she get in a cab and go home. She responds by passing out.
I offered to pay for the cab if some people who knew her would take her home and they refused. . I left her to get her purse and told someone else to watch over her and I came back to find her falling toward the bar head first. Yes; I caught her. I really did not want to be seen leaving a bar with an incoherent drunk woman that I had kissed (see "The bad side of being a good Samaritan" below) before but I also did not want to ditch an unconscious woman in the west village and hope for the best.
I go to her house with her. I lay her on the bed and call my friend Rick in Minnesota, and we share stories about baby-sitting drunk people. He has a funny one. A little later the girl is making sounds like she is about to throw up and she is laying on her back. I've heard those stories about people drowning in their own vomit. I take the girl, put her in the bathroom and aim her at the toilet. She throws up on her pants.
I take her back to her bed and go to sleep.
We wake up in the morning and she has no idea why I am there. She has no idea that we kissed. I am fully dressed. She is fully dressed and smells like vomit. I tell her what happened. She is surprised and I think that is a good thing. I would hate to think this was an everyday thing for her.
Here’s where it gets funky. The girl turns out to be good friends with my ex girlfriend and doesn’t want this whole thing to go any farther.
Tonight the girl tells my ex that she was drunk, I kissed her and that she doesn’t remember what else happened and “Oh by the way, do you think Victor would… you know…”
Luckily my ex knows me a lot better than this girl and tells her that that is not a possibility, but that doesn’t mean my ex isn’t mad as shit for me kissing her friend.
The girl only knew that we kissed because I told her and when we woke up we were both fully clothed, so I don’t know how she got to the point where she would ask if I would… you know…
Here’s my question:
1. Should I have said anything to the girl about the whole incident? I thought telling the truth was the best idea.
2. Should I have told my ex first even though she had asked me not to?
Here are my guesses:
1. Yes. I should have told her. Though I feel threatened by her question, I should understand that women feel threatened all the time and blah blah blah- whatever the whole thing sucks.
2. I don’t know. I though that it was not a damaging thing in the first place, just really stupid. I really don’t know, but I regret not telling my ex at this point.
I do have a plan though. I am thinking about twisting my dick off and feeding it to birds.Problem solved. No dick, no questions.