Party

I am going to a halloween party hosted by richard gere tonight.

Am I scary?

This is James

I don't know much about him but I do know he was on the DawsonLs creek soundtrack.

Do you know who he is?

ART (I am covered in ketchup!)

I went to a reading tonight because a friend of mine was involved. At first I was ready to roll out of that joint as fast as my legs would carry me. 

 

The first reader was a woman who read about the plight of female bodybuilders.  Apparently there is some controversy about the fact that they are also judged on their femininity.  I guess that sucks, but then again man-bodied women suck a little bit too.

 

Luckily, the next performer was a kick ass writer named Lisa Crystal Carver.  She had people act out scenes from her book rather than just relying on a reading.  She told the tale of living and growing up in a punk rock band and amidst the lifestyle therein.

 

At one point a girl covered in ketchup that she was using as blood jumped off the stage and started making out with me.  She slapped me and was surprised when I slapped her back.  (Look, with the talk about the way I feel about body building women and slapping this woman, I am beginning to sound like a real jerk  Please forgive me)  Anyway, the show ended with a woman getting on a table and peeing on a pizza.

 

Peeing on a pizza.

 

Art.

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www.bestalbino.com

Dear Planet Earth

I am the best dancer in the universe.

If aliens came down to take over the world and the only way we could defend ourselves was serving up those suckers on the dance floor, the world leaders would have to come find me.

Nuff said.

What am I doing in New York?

I have to go back to LA soon to finish the worked that was halted in its path by idiocy.

 

I think that if I had the unique ability of blowing people up with my mind I would be wading through the knee deep blood and entrails of dumbasses.

 

Is that harsh?
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www.bestalbino.com

Bored at the airport.

Going back and forth from new york to la and back can sure wear on you after a while.

sitting at an airport alone and tired is.... Well its blech.

It is a quandry

When you are doing something cool, like writiing a new movie with Stan Lee, then you feel bead when you get angry bout setbacks.

 

I mean on one hand, yu ARE writing movies, but on the other hand, everyone could use a little primer on getting their shit together sometimes. 

 

Not Stan Lee, he rocks.

This is Carrie

I really don't know Carrie, but she is a good friend of a friend that I sort of know.

She does market research so let's do some of our own. What do you think she's like?

This is Carter

Carter is an excellent bartender that makes drinks that makes your head spin.

Howd you do that Carter? I am happy and beligerrent all at once.

I believe in God

But what I don't believe in is people who sing about God and try to fit in some weird comedy act in it as well.

Thank you Chris Deluca.

Watch this until at least the middle.

CLICK ME

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www.bestalbino.com

This is Ann and Sydney

Together they are a band called the Hazards. They used to be the Ukes of Hazard but they were afraid of the man.

I had an informal contest and ann won. She has the biggest whitest teeth.

This is Claudia

Claudia is getting over a cold but that has nothing to do with why her nose is so big.

Ha ha ha.

Justt kidding. She's pretty.

This is Brian

Brian is one of the nicest guys I know and I guarantee that he has the oldest soul on the block.

I know it seems like saying that someone has an old soul is not a compliment, but it is.

This is Jovanna

Jovanna works at the production company that I write movies for. She has no idea that I am sending this to my website.

I will tell her to check my site after this is posted. I think she will be angry.

This is roger

Roger and I write comedy for the video game together. Does he look funny? He seems pensive to me.

Maybe that is funny.

My Bank Card

I lost my bank card and I still have a few more days before I get my new one.

It really is a different world inside the bank. It seems like time has stood still since they used that one bank as part of the set of ,ots a wonderful life., The people are antiqyated, weird and most of them are in black and white..

ZING!

Good news everyone!

I just figured out how to send picture blog entries from my phone. You are welcome.

Voice Over Work

This is me hard at work making funny voices for a video game.

So yes, I have been screwing arond with the blogger software and I sense that my webpage will become many times more obnoxious fast.

Pray for me...

RED ROCK WEST

If you ever saw the movie Coyote Ugly, then you understand what the bar Red Rock West is.  Red is a bar where the bartenders are all hot and rowdy and at the drop of a hat they get up and dance on the bar; sometime with wigs and hats and other times with water.  The point is, it is a surreal time.

 

What makes it different from a strip club?

 

There are men there drooling over the show, yes, but there are also quite a few hot women who enjoy the chance to publicly get drunk and sometime hop up on the bar themselves.  The beer and liquor flows while both sexes have a glee filled evening.

 

Could there be a downside?

 

At about 3 am, an hour before closing, many of the hot women leave as quite a few less attractive women show up.  The men who have been there drinking all night are helpless in the grips of the scarier looking ladies who have time the night just eight so that they can go home and "get down".

 

This "changing of the guard" is not gender specific, there are several attractive women who wake up the next morning with "Fat Billy" in their arms.

 

Oh Red Rock, haven of botched decisions.

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www.bestalbino.com