Cat.

I'm gonna eat this cat.

Hot Dog

I was hungry and I started eating the hot dog before I ate it.

Time Iut NY mkes fun of my SWEATER!

HERE!

Brekfast Quesadilla!

Mmm. I like sals in my food and my women!

Radio!

We are promoting the shows on pittsburg radio with super DJ Alan Cox.

This mic is as big as my head.

This mike

This is real. Mike is the rock paper scissors champpion of pittsburgh and is on his way to the Luxor in Vegas for the national championships! Wow!

Late dinner

Meatloaf and a salad with italian dressing. I don't know why I couldn't wait to take a picture before I devoured my food.... I just couldn't.

Breakfast Time!

Egg cheese and bacon on wheat bread. Water orange juice and cream soda. Good first show last night and plenty of time to rethink yesterdays eating choices.

Lunchtime?

On the road to Pittsburgh to entertain the kids!! I don't know what is more nutricious., beef jerky, candy necklaces, or the resces Fast Break!

This Is...

this is the butter that came with my breakfast.

Is this normal? Do you normally get a slab of butter as big across as your english muffin? I don't know what the use of spreading it would beif it already covers the entire surface of the muffin. For a while I thought about making a butter sandwich but my arteries chokesd me just for thinking about it.

The think they're tough.

What the?

In osh NYC clubs girls dance in fake showers under green lights.

I can't believe someone wants to hire me!

Well, obviously I get hired a lot,but I got an e-mail from a private citizen wanting to hire me for a job.  Here it is:

 

Hi Victor,

 

I think that you are really funny and I would love to throw some cash your way for services!  What do you think?

 

James

 

Well James, I am not quite sure what the services are that you are inquiring about. In order to help you out, I will list a few of the things that I do and then my rates.  Hope this helps.

 

I will perform standup comedy for an hour:

    $5,000

 

I will write you a feature length screenplay:

    $10,000

 

I will write you a feature length screenplay that is actually good:

    $90,000

 

I will watch your puppy:

    FREE

 

I will teach you how to write a more comprehensive e-mail:

    $4

 

I will teach your mother how to bark:

    $4500

 

I will make a feature film on DV with you as the star (this includes writing a crappy script):

    $150,000

 

I will make a feature film on DV with you as the star based on something that is not insulting to you. (this also includes writing a crappy script):

    $150,000

 

I will prance around wearing nothing but a sock (on my nethers):

    FREE (I've actually done this on numerous times for free)

 

I will prance around wearing nothing but a sock (on my foot):

    $15

 

I will prance around wearing nothing but a sock (on my foot and you are not a hot woman who is willing to sleep with me):

    $500

 

I will prance around wearing nothing but a sock (on my foot and you are disgusting in some way, you know, like you have an extra nose on you face or you poop every five minutes, or maybe you smell like old cabbage):

    $66,450

 

I will teach you Karate:

    $40 / hr

 

I will teach you Tae Kwon Do (which I actually know):

    1 ass whooping.

 

I could go on James, but I think what I am really trying to say is your e-mail is a bit open ended and I thing that you might try to rewrite it.

Genius is Relative

Sometimes I think that I am really smart, and then sometimes I can barely figure out the smallest, dumbest things, and then I get mad at the inanimate.  Screw YoU KEyBoarD nln '4 9 we qerkqp 'w . wli 5w oiw w 5hw4 ,'j rhmw4om hmw4 w45mjbrtsmj0 m0s j

________________
www.bestalbino.com

BAM!

The version of ninety miles an hour that is most likely going to shot just left my desk.

 

In other news, I want a puppy.

 

24 drinking game (spolers for last wee)

Played with beer and cookies

 

If someone gives and order, take a drink.

If someone disobeys an order, take two drinks.

If Jack yells, take a drink.

If someone disobeys an order from the president, finish the bottle.

 

If someone gets hurt, eat a cookie.

If someone dies on screen eat a cookie.

If someone whose name you know dies eat three cookies.

 

If you saw last weeks episode, you know that Michael and I pretty much thought we were in the clear until the end of the second hour when the bad guys dropped nerve gas on the home base of the good guys and TONS of people were dying on screen.

 

Cookies do not go with beer and my tummy hurts.

What am I doing awake?

I was up yesterday for approximately 20 hours.

 

I went to bed at about 5 am and for some reason I woke up at 9:30 anyway.  MY INTERNAL CLOCK IS PISSED AT ME!

 

I have been diligently working on a rewrite of the script that I am directing and as a reward; I should be able to sleep.

 

Still can't give away all the casting details so stop asking!

 

Grrr!

Back to the old grind.

I will announce all the details later, but I am directing a feature film for the first time and there are even recognizable stars in it.  But remember how crazy I was when I was writing the Stan Lee movie?  I was stir crazy from being in front of the computer all day and now I am doing a polish of the script that I am directing.

 

NO I AM NOT DIRECTING ONE OF THE STAN LEE MOVIES!!!!

 

I only co-wrote the Stan Lee movie so no crazy emails please.  My movie is going to rock though!

This is Dominika and Zaida

Two great tastes that go great together.

that is not sexual.

Happy Birthday

Last night was my assistants birthday. She's turning twelve or something.

 

I got her a gift certificate so that she can buy a shitload of comic books.  My assistant likes comic books!  especially books with zombies in them! 

 

If you are an emo boy I think I found your wet dream.

This is Sandra

Okay, this appears to be a cute picture of a cute girl, but if you look really close. You may be able to see the seed of evil...

Or maybe it's gas.

Today was just one of those days.

Today I felt like I was walking amongst ghosts.

 

I forget sometimes that the world is a place filled with people that are incomplete.  I myself am incomplete.

 

Yawn...