I am a bachelor and I eat a lot of meals outside of my home. It was three months before I realized that I didn't have the gas turned on in my apartment. To put things in perspective, I don't need gas for heat because my building has that end covered. The only thing that I need gas for is to cook.
One day when I tried to cook I discovered that the stove was not working so I called my landlord and he asked me if I had ever turned on the gas. He laughed and laughed at my explanation, but not in a friendly way, more like it was in a way you laugh at a guy who steps in poop twice; once because he is not paying attention and then into a second pile while he is still walking forward but looking back to see what the hell he just stepped in.
I then made a rash decision: I always eat out, so what the hell do I need to turn on the gas for. Do I really need to have another bill so that I can run the stove? Fuck that.
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This morning, I really want scrambled eggs.
No. All three are answered.
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