Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine who got stumbling drunk.
I stuck around to make sure that my friend was okay and then I realized something. When you are a guy with a stumbling drunk woman on your arm, people begin to question your motives. I was walking, but mostly dragging this woman toward to exit of this bar and then some random guy came up to me.
Rrandom Guy:
Het dude. What are you doing with that girl? Are you her boyfriend?
Me:
No. I'm making sure she gets home.
RG:
I don't know man... maybe I should take her home.
At first I though that I must look suspicious or something, but then I thought, Wait, why should I let this guy walk away with my stumbling drunk friend? What if he was a rapist or somethin?
Me:
I think we'll be fine.
RG:
I'm not going to let you take her! Give her to me!
Me:
What if you rape her?
RG:
What if YOU rape her?
Me:
I won't!
RG:
Neither will I!
And so on.. and so on...
Once I was in a bar where a girl had been roofied, and a bunch of us were making sure nothing happened to her. When it came time to leave, my girlfriend said that I should go back inside and double-check she was still OK and that her ride home was still available.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went back in to check on her, the girl said I was sweet and suddenly kissed me. Just then, the guy who was giving her a ride turned around and was all, like, "Hey. Dude. Not cool."
Lesson learned: when it comes to rescuing drugged chicks, let your girlfriend do the talking.