Noodle Night Minutes

5:30

I got a call from Jay in response to my text message.  ?!  Anyway... he tells me that the time is pushed back about fifteen minutes.  He an Meg invite me to their house.  I think it's weird and decide to meet them at the noodle shop.

 

6:30

We meet outside Sammy's noodles and end up waiting for Dale.  Isn't this a situation that just repeats itself.  Waiting for Dale to show up.  Waiting for Dale to "get it".  Waiting for Dale to stop blowing his nose and stop looking into his kleenex.

 

6:31

Dale Finally shows up.  Maybe I overreacted.

 

6:31

This gets a seperate entry with the same time out of anger.  I'm told we are walking from this perfectly good noodle shop in search of another noodle shop.  People want "variety".  I want food.  Meg informs me that if we walk we will eventually get both.  I kill her.

 

6:45

Jay, Dale, Ritch, Alan and me arrive at the new noodle shop.  Meg has become a reasonable zombie and follows along.  She promises to pay for her meal so noone severs her spinal chord.  (That's how you kill a zombie.)

 

6:50

We sit at the table and then I realize, "Who the fuck is Alan?"  Jay has brough along a boy toy.  I would be mad, but it's good timing since I killed his wife.  Meg looks on with longing.  I don't know if she's jealous or just smells brains.

 

6:55

We place our order with the Japanes waiter with and Italian accent.  Okay maybe the accent was actually Japanes, but what's the difference?

 

7:10

We eat.

 

7:12

Ritch catches fire!  I don't know how he caught fire but I do know that Zombie freak the fuck out near flames.  Meg runs for the door but the waiter bars her way because she hasn't paid her check.  Damn lying zombie!  She said she was going to pay her check!

 

7:30

The apocolypse comes.

 

7:45

The apocolypse leaves and thing are pretty much the same except there is no doubt that there is a God.

 

8:00

I have to leave.  I step over the body of the waiter and look for a cab. 

 

Dale wants a ride too.  I wait for him.

 

 

How am I not crazy?

I sit in the house writing all day and then I go out at night and tell jokes.  I don't have a writing buddy that has a similar schedule.  I just don't.

 

I need a writing buddy.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

Alas...

Seems like my schedule while making a movie was too much for my last girlfriend to endure. 

 

I have to start dating again if I am going to make some babies within the year.  I have to start dating or building a mechanical baby.  I don't really want a baby, but I totally want a robot.  I love robots...

 

Wait, maybe may last girl called it quits because I like robots so much.  Now I'm thinking that if my last girlfriend were a robot we'd still be together.

________________
www.bestalbino.com

This is Annie

Annie has OCD but it works in our favor because she's our acript superviser and in charge of continuity.

This is Brian

Brian is the first AD on Twist The Cap: A Tale of redemption. Does it ook like this dude is hoding it al together? He, with the help three other people are definitely making it happen.

Meeitngs are FUN!

Yesterday we had quite a few meetings happening all at once.

PROPS AND WARDROBE

Here's a conversation that we all had. All people from props and wardrobe were there, plus the DP, plus the producer. We had two styles of beverage containers that we were looking at from one of our sponsors.

ME:

Which one of these can we use.

PRODUCER:

Any one you want to use.

I lay out all the bottles in front of the pros people. and we narrow it down to one of the glass bottles with the old school tops.

ME:

This one.

PRODUCER:

The sponsor wants that one.

ME:

Do we have to use that one?

PRODUCER:

Np.

ME:

Okay, then we want to use this one.

PRODUCER:

This one looke like a beer bottle. I like the way that that one looks.

ME:

Without restraint, we would choose this one.

PRODUCER:

What would you choose if you had restraint?

ME:

What? Do we HAVE to use that one?

PRODUCER:

No.

ME:

Okay, then we want this one.

PRODUCER:

... ... Let me make a call.

A few minutes go by while the producer is on the phone. The Lawyer walks in.

LAWYER:

We are using that bottle.

ME:

So we are.

Location Day

Walking around Harlem on a hot summer days sure sounds like fun, but in practice, it'sactually pretty sweaty.  My Producer, location manager and I paced back and forth from bedega to bodega and in and out of liquor stores to find just the right place for Charlie Murphy to run in and out of.

 

I noticed that when you get to 160th street, th preferred uniform of young ladies is a tight t-shirt and tight jeans, but around 140th street the uniform is a tube or tank top and a miniskirt.  Although I can identify the uniforms, I have no idea hat the goals of the organization are.

 

Victor

It's a hot day in NYC

I went to a party today and there were some people talking about paying for art in  installments because when you buy art while the price is rising it's a good investment for the future.

 

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

________________

www.bestalbino.com - word

 

You ever have a great day?

- followed by a crazy day that makes you want to vomit? I have... I mean am.

Thanks for all the public and private compliments about Conan O'Brien!

And they think that I'M the crazy one.

I talking with a group of riends, all girls last night and then one of them tells me that whe nyou are going out with someone oand you go out and make out with someone on the side when you are drunk at a bar then thats okay.

 

That's crazy and I siad as much.  At first the three of them were all united against me, but as the main instgator of the conversation,it was amazing to see the smiles fade from the faces of the other women as her explanation and intention got crazier and crazier.  At one point the other women had that, how did we get caught up in this debacle, sort of face on.

 

I know the woman is not here to defend herself, but this is my blog so whatever.

Conan O Brien tomorrow.

So tomorrow I am on Conan O'Brien and I will be attempting to rock the house.  Sure I'm a little nervous but I think the important thing to remeber is that I am introducing myself to thousands of people and enriching them by letting them know that a black albino actually exists.

 

I don't completely know the demographic of Conan's audiece, btu i bet that most of them wouldn't crap their pants when they see me on the screen. If I was in front of Jay Leno's audince, I wonder hundreds of geezers across the country would be grabbing their chests in surprise.

 

I guess I'm happy that I am on Conan instead of Leno, cause really, I  don't want to kill anybody.

my new assistant.

unfortunately my old assistant self destucted this is eric. isn't he sad?

I'll be on Conan O'Brien this week.

Hi there!

I know that I have been quiet for a while, but here's the poop about my life.

CONAN

Thursday May 25th is when I perform on Conan. I will be appearing right along side Jennifer Anniston. i wonder if I will be the first black albino comedian she has ever seen. Anyhoo, tune into NBC at 12:30 / 11:30 central and check it out.

TWIST THE CAP: A tale of redemption.

The new movie that I am directing starring Charlie Murphy (Chappelle's show) and Ike Barinholtz (Mad TV) will start shooting on May 30th. Look for a production diary and video blog to start soon. Right now there is just a teaser site (www.twistthecap.com) thrown up.

FUNNY INTERVIEW

I can't believe that they published this interview. They did though. It was also featured on Gawker.com

SEE IT hERE

Phew.

________________

www.bestalbino.com - word

Yay phone!

My new pbone has cool preset picture things. So there!

My desk is a mess.

I should really think about cleoning it.